Chris Newman's Christmas Songs Page 2
We Three Wrestlers (And Others)
While Punters Watched
​The First Wrestling Noel
(Verse)
On the First Wrestling Bell Max Ward - he did say
“I’m tellin’ yuh McManus - you’ll do as I say”
But Mick he took no heed
As Public Warning rang out
He continued with vengeance punching Jackie
In the snout
(Chorus)
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel ....
Bert Royal, Dr Death, Eddie Hammill as well.
(Verse)
Then they all looked up - and saw a car
Black limousine came cruising - coming in from afar
The Holy Ghost that was within - was an Orient styled Star
Dark Mask with White Stripes & Kendo Helmet with bars
(Chorus)
Wrestling Bell - Wrestling Bell - Wrestling Bell - Wrestling Bell
Nagasaki’s opposition - they prayed like Hell.
(Verse)
This star drew nigh to thee North West
The Mask & that tunic - including Red Vest
He shakes Sacred Salt
Bearing Sword Sharp and Fine
And you wouldn’t want an insert
Where the Sun does not shine
(Chorus)
Oh Hell, Oh Hell, Oh Hell, Oh Hell,
Opponents eyes watered - to thee final bell
(Verse)
So Kendo Nagasaki
Those wrestlers he did floor
The more villainy displayed - they just loved him more
He blew us away like a pile of ash
And treated us all to a Kamikaze Crash
(Chorus)
Cast His Spell, Cast His Spell, Cast His Spell, Cast His Spell
A real punters Champion & Legend as well.
(Verse)
Now Brian Crabtree
Came to Referee The Royals
Their thrilling heroics
Brought crowds to the boil
So fast & skilled were they
Might as well have been twins
And Vic playing to The Gallery
Slipped through Brian’s bandy pins
(Chorus)
Wrestling Bells, Wrestling Bells, Wrestling Bells - They Do Chime
Brian dazzled by Vic Faulkner as he came up behind.
(Verse)
On the latest Noel - Chris composing his song
Yes he’s done this before and in that you’re not wrong
If he’s in that sort of mood - for him it’s a ball
So I wish you Happy Yuletide
And New Year once more
NOEL, NOEL, NOEL, NOEL !!
ALL JOIN ME IN SONG - IN A WRESTLING CHORALE
Wrestling Bells
To the tune of ”Silver Bells ...with apologies to Bing Crosby & Dean Martin
(Intro) ....
City sidewalks, busy sidewalks - leading somewhere tonight
In the air - is a feeling of magic
Excitements building with no yielding - the venue’s insight
Inside from a table you’ll hear ...
(Chorus .. as are all following verses)
Wrestling Bells, Wrestling Bells
It’s wrestling time in the City
Hear it ding - from side of ring
Soon the bouts - will be underway
(ditto)
Kendo stuns .. and here he comes
To go head to head with the Bomber
Next to approach is Big Pat Roach
With “Livin’ Alright” ... on the P.A.
(..)
The scene is set - the salt is spread
Nagger’s sword is brandished - on cue
Pat’s cloak is ditched
Without a hitch – “Kendo I aint afraid of you”
(..)
They start apace with no disgrace
Ascending rungs to claim the money
A ladder match - a lolly snatch
The sum for taking - aint so funny
Tactics abused neither must lose ...
Pride is all at stake - today
(..)
Beard versus Mask - is Bombers Task
Goodwill to men - never will be seen
Pat wants to dump his Brumingham bump
On Kendo’s torso and his rear
Kendo evades - without a graze
He just can’t get Ol’ Kendo near
(..)
Ashen Mask - Kamikaze Crash
Culture of man - that bore the sword
No blade to slash - what can he rehash?
One thing's for sure -the crowd’s all here
(..)
End to end - on they go
Locking horns - the bout ebbs and flows
No quarter asked - none would they give
It’s just the way these wrestlers lived
(..)
Now here’s the thing - across the ring
For that ladder... they both dashed
Tempers frayed - get outta my way !
And to their heads - there was a bash
(..)
A dizzy two - the blood did spew
2 cut heads & ruddy noses
In a tizz - dunno what day it is
To them it could be - almost anytime
Seeing stars - from afar
Christmas must be - on the way
(..)
The Ref aborts - calls the bout up short
He has no choice - in the matter
It is his chore - to pronounce a draw
Amid the chaos and the gore
(..)
Red mist cloud - Red mist cloud
Tonight’s show turned - not so pretty
The crowd go wild - the ring defiled
The Council cart the steps - away
(..)
But worse to come - what a carry on
Punters causing various damages
Punches are thrown - mass grunt and groan
No peace on earth at all it seems.
Arms in a sling - ding dong ding
Black eyes - broken seats - other fractures
A right old grind - but never mind ...
Soon ... It will be Christmas Day ..
(..)
Some wanted to know
Where did the purse go?
Let me try and give you clarity
Civic claims came in - no wrestling friends
And some it went off to - charity....
(..)
Wrestling Bells - Wrestling Bells
It all went down to the nitty-gritty
Wrestling Bells & nasty smells
The old Christmas Spirit gone - astray
(..)
Yes they spoke - how the promoter went broke...
.... For them it wasn’t hilarity
Great ladder match tried - now the bill’s too high
A sad prospect for them - on Christmas Day !
​
(Outro):- Altogether now one last time ....
WRESTLING BELLS ! - WRESTLING BELLS !
It's Christmas time in the City, hear them ring - Ting Ting - Ting a ling!
Soon it will be ..... ♥ CHRISTMAS DAY ♥
(Chris Newman, Xmas 2017)
The Lord's Ladies and Gentlemen's Prayer
....Our Father Who Went To The Wrestling
Hallowed Be His Name & His Son Went There The Same
You See It Was Such Great Fun
And Thy Will Be Done, On Earth As It Is In Heritage.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Threads
And Lead Us Not Into Repetition
For Wrestling Is In Our Tradition
Of Heroes & Villains -
It Once Was A Kingdom
Of Power & Glory & Plenty Of Story
Not Forever & Ever - But Never Say Never - Amen.
​
Cardinal Chris (aka Lexicon Kid)