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Limericks

James Morton
There once was a wrester named Rann
Who was thought a really hard man 
Easy to rile 
He did have some style
But could he wrestle Catch Can?


James Morton
There once was a wrestler S Crab
Who also appeared as Big Dad
Some thought him the best
But as for the rest
They thought that the punters were 'had'.


Chris Newman
Yes James - he wasn't  the best on the mat
In fact he was exeedingly fat
He was such a big chappy
In a dirty great nappy
But always floored 'em with a splat.

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But the kids loved him where it was at
With his "Easy" & sparkly top hat
He got' em in the groove
With his "We Shall Not Be Moved"
As the fans sang along where they sat.

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Chris Newman
James Morton and Bernard Hughes
There was a masked man, The Ghoul 
Who was clearly nobody’s fool 
With his Guillotine Chop
He brought bouts to a stop 
And for years he continue to rule

 

Bernard Hughes
There once was a wrestler called Dominic Pye
Who stirred up heat,without seeming to try 
He was wilder and more outrageous than his Dad
But the thing that makes me feel so sad
I never saw him, now I could cry.

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Can't find film of him on any site
I have searched for night after night
I saw his Dad in many a scrape
But I let the wild son escape.
Can anyone help with my plight?

 

Mikey370
McManus he came from New Cross
And everyone knew he was boss
With his black plastered hair
And his menacing stare
He rarely suffered a loss

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One thing that he really would hate
And get him a little irate
To the crowds many cheers
Being grabbed by the ears
And everyone thought it was great

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One match which really shocked me
Was against Peter Preston you see
McManus he flipped
When the match went off script
It was his first loss on TV

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But despite that he won lots of bouts
By two falls to one or knockouts
His rule bending style
His wrestling guile
The greatest of heels there no doubt

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Chris Newman
There was a Commentator named Kent
Who to the wrestling he one day was sent
He had just the right tone
For the old grunt and groan
So to the wrestling he frequently went.

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Chris Newman

There was a tag-team Bert & Vic
Their moves were skilful and slick
 So bright was their dazzle
 Burnt opponents to a frazzle
 Because their speed was so quick.

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Chris Newman

Back to that Commentator named Walton
Who wanted a table, if only a small one
But the muscle & bones
Squashed his head-phones
As through the ropes
The wrestlers made their assault upon.


Chris Newman
There once was a wrestler named Steve Logan
Who was neither an Ada or Hulk Hogan
But he gave plenty of bump, bash n’ smash 
 As opponents hoped were dashed
And his fore-arm was always his slogan

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To other wrestlers he was never magnanimous
Tagging with Mick McManus
Plus their rivalry with the Pallo’s was infamous
And for Jack junior

& his senior calamitous.

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Steve would win by foul means or by fair

Sometimes using his greasy long hair
But things became ultra prickly
When he grew that gruesome mickey ...
... Only adding to his stone cold stare.

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Not blessed with good looks was our Steve
A face you’d need to see to believe
Between rounds I used to think
He had to sneak up on the bottle - to take a drink
For even the Seconds - recoiled in scare.

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He continued though to wrestle steadily
Most bouts gave him vic-tory
Never bothered by the merit
Of result - or how he’d get it
'Long as it finished ... sat-is-fac-torily.

 

Andy
Catweazle could make us all laugh
Steve Grey was so skilful and fast
Johnny Saint was a master
There weren’t many faster
Though Naylor and Faulkner were class

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There were tough guys like Logan and Mick
Rocco roughed people up quite a bit
But when Adrian pranced
And Rikki Starr danced
I always thought they were quite slick

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There were heavies like Gil Singh and Steele
St Clair always made it look real
But when Daddy was lurking
Stax would be shirking
His partner knew that was the deal

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We had others like Kincaid and Bond
And others of whom we were fond
But not Mighty Quinn
We didn’t like him
So we sent him back over the pond

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We loved some others with glee
From Japan, the great Sammy Lee
The Iron Greek had a belt 
But his collar was felt
Wayne Bridges, the champ now, I see

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Some others enjoyed martial arts
While others would hide behind masks
And when Kaye blew his horn
The punters would scorn

‘Is that really allowed?’ they would ask


So from Kendo to Myers to Sid
And Marty and Finlay and Kidd
The joy that you gave
For the money we paid
We will NEVER forget what you did!

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